Christmas — What a Wonderful Time to Change (And You Know It)

Christmas—A Surprising Invitation to Start Anew (And Yes, You Really Can Do It)

The Holiday Paradox

Close your eyes and imagine a quintessential Christmas scene: firelight dancing across shining ornaments, children aglow with excitement, and the soothing hum of carols gently wrapping you in nostalgia. We’re often told it’s “the most wonderful time of the year,” yet underneath all the sugar and sparkle lies a more profound truth.

Historically, what we now call Christmas is a mosaic built from ancient pagan festivals and age-old customs. In the modern world, December can light up with joyous moments but also weigh heavily with sorrow. Family pressures, rushed gift shopping, overburdened credit cards, and spiking stress levels can leave us wondering: Is this how it has to be?

A glance at just one example—Norway—reveals how complicated this season can be for families:

• In 2022, 17,032 children in Norway (ages 0–18) experienced parental divorce or separation.
• Around 6,858 children under age 16 lived through the breakup of their parents’ cohabitation.
• A total of 8,204 divorces were filed in the same year.
• If current trends continue, an estimated 37.1% of today’s marriages will end in divorce.

(Source: Statistics Norway (SSB) and the Norwegian Directorate for Children, Youth and Family Affairs (Bufdir))

And that’s just Norway. Divorce rates, family tensions, and holiday heartbreak echo worldwide. While these figures might feel grim, they serve a vital purpose: to remind us that we don’t have to carry on the way we always have.

If Christmas spotlights life’s contradictions—radiance and heartache, celebration and conflict—it also offers a mirror reflecting what desperately needs to change. Rather than resigning yourself to chaos, what if this season became your launchpad? Instead of drifting through December on autopilot, you could harness its energy as a springboard toward self-discovery and growth.

This year, don’t just endure the holidays—use them to pivot away from old habits and toward a life of courage, compassion, and mental freedom.

A Hidden Gift: The Chance to Change

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus once asked, “How long will you wait before you demand the best for yourself?” Each December, many of us vow to start fresh: build new relationships, reignite a fitness routine, learn a second language, write a book or blog, or finally launch that dream business. Yet, for so many, these ambitions fizzle before January is over. We slip back into the same loops, reliving last year’s frustrations.

But here’s a fact: it doesn’t have to end that way. By blending ancient Stoicism, a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA), modern psychology, and emotional awareness techniques like the Facial Action Coding System (FACS), you can transform holiday stress into real, lasting breakthroughs.

Instead of accepting the “same old, same old,” make this Christmas—or any day—your turning point for personal development, where gift-giving meets soul-growing, mental health, and awareness.

Why Christmas? Why Now?

It might sound counterintuitive that one of the most hectic times of the year could be a powerful catalyst for personal change. Yet, when the malls are jam-packed, your to-do list is overwhelming, and another calendar year is slipping away, your inner voice often grows more assertive. That moment of reflection—sometimes whispered—says: “Things have to shift. I need to be more than this.”

Christmas revolves around stories—time-honored traditions, the promise of renewal, and the potential for hope. Use these days to examine your narrative:

• What triggers your anxiety?
• When do you feel most alive?
• Who do you genuinely want to be next December? Or any day of the year?

Turn your holiday gatherings into opportunities for introspection. Let the lights, the music, and even the occasional chaos teach you what’s worth preserving and what’s ripe for growth.

Your Allies on the Journey: Stoicism, PMA, and Psychology

Stoicism:

The Stoics remind us that while we can’t always steer external events, our internal compass is entirely within our power. Marcus Aurelius wrote, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” In a hectic season, Stoicism anchors us. By focusing on our attitudes, choices, and mental reactions, we learn to transform obstacles into stepping stones.

Positive Mental Attitude (PMA):

Thinkers like Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone championed PMA, urging us to reframe obstacles as gateways to possibility. “I can’t” becomes “I can… if I learn how.” Even when faced with squabbling relatives or budget worries, a PMA helps you pivot from pessimism to purpose. Challenges become fertile ground for growth.

Modern Psychology & Emotional Insight (FACS):

True transformation begins with self-awareness. Paul Ekman’s Facial Action Coding System (FACS) teaches us to decode emotional cues in ourselves and others—those subtle furrowed brows or upturned lips that reveal unspoken feelings. Augmenting this knowledge with Positive Psychology (Martin Seligman) and Mindfulness (Jon Kabat-Zinn) equips you with tools to manage stress, cultivate resilience, and handle emotional turmoil with grace.

21 Steps for Real Transformation

Here are 21 practical steps to merge Stoicism, PMA, and psychological insight into your daily life:

1. Focus on What You Can Control – Identify what is within your control each morning.
2. Practice Negative Visualization – Anticipate minor hassles and accept them.
3. Keep a Gratitude List – Note three things you appreciate daily.
4. Set a Micro-Goal Daily – Small victories create momentum.
5. Observe Emotions with FACS – Recognize emotional patterns in yourself and others.
6. Challenge Impulses – Pause before making unnecessary purchases.
7. Embrace Daily Stillness – Spend 5-10 minutes in quiet reflection.
8. Use Compassionate Self-Talk – Replace harsh criticism with affirming words.
9. Learn Something New – Pick up a new skill or hobby.
10. Set Time Boundaries – Prioritize personal breaks.
11. Keep a Daily Journal – Reflect on thoughts and progress.
12. Practice Generosity – Offer sincere compliments or volunteer.
13. Track Your Habits – Identify and adjust unhelpful routines.
14. Practice Mindful Eating and Drinking – Savor meals without overindulgence.
15. Respectfully Say “No” – Protect your mental space.
16. Visualize Your Ideal Future Self – Let that vision guide your choices.
17. See Adversity as a Teacher – Learn from challenges.
18. Find Accountability Partners – Stay motivated with support.
19. Create a Meaningful Morning Routine – Start your day with purpose.
20. Celebrate Small Wins – Recognize progress.
21. Review and Adjust Weekly – Reflect and refine your approach.

Resources & Further Reading

Stoicism

• Meditations – Marcus Aurelius
• Discourses – Epictetus
• The Daily Stoic – Ryan Holiday

Positive Mental Attitude

• Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude – Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone
• Positive Psychology Center at UPenn

Emotion & Psychology Research

• Emotions Revealed – Paul Ekman
• Flourish – Martin Seligman
• Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor E. Frankl
• Greater Good Magazine – UC Berkeley

Stoic Community & Psychology Tools

• Ryan Holiday’s Work
• Positive Psychology Tools

Embrace the Conversation, Embrace the Change

Now is your moment. Refuse to let another December—or even another day—pass in a blur of overcommitments and regrets. Instead, seize the holiday season as a wake-up call.

Engage with online communities or in-person meetups through social media groups like PMA Science Stoic on Facebook, or join personal development forums. Listen to Q&A sessions hosted by modern Stoic practitioners, experienced mental-health coaches, and mindfulness experts. Most importantly, track your progress—use a simple 21-day habit tracker and check off each daily step with pride.

Ask Yourself:

• What toxic habit can I let go of this season?
• What positive routine can I introduce?
• How would a supportive community help me stay on course?

Now, visualize a future holiday season—maybe December 2025—where you are brimming with calm assurance, keen self-awareness, and deep warmth for yourself and others. Imagine the challenges that once overwhelmed you now serving as catalysts for wisdom and growth.

You already sense it’s time for a shift. So don’t just dream about who you want to become—use this holiday season as a turning point. Let the festive energy fuel your transformation, turning stress into a stepping stone toward the life you truly desire.

This day, this week, this month, this year—reclaim your narrative, one mindful step at a time.

You know it’s time to change. Now, make it happen.

Written by Jay Pacheco

December 21, 2024